hunger

I’m so hungry…for God. One of the biggest lessons I have learned so far during this 40 day food fast has been how to be hungry for God. I have learned that if I can be this hungry for food then I NEED to be even more hungry for God. I have always been really good about keeping God in everything that I do, but I am loving this time with Him. I love that in everything I do I take Him along and ask Him loads of questions. I spend time loving on Him and receiving love from Him. I have had to learn how to receive love from Him even though I don’t “feel” it. 

What I have discovered about God’s love is that it is ever present. I know that isn’t anything new, but I have seen His love in a deeper way. I have seen Him be faithful in times where I have been unfaithful. I have seen His love for people when they are acting completely against Him. I have seen His passion for the lost and I have loved to see them grow and find Him. His love for us is so consistent and constant. He loves us beyond measure. He loves us greater than we can ever fathom. I love the idea that God’s love in inexplorable. It cannot be explored enough. I love that I have all my life and eternity to find out how and why God loves me so much. 

Thank you for your love Father,

Dustin

 

time to change

It isn’t merely enough to call for a change in the way we love people we must actually love people. Why is it that we are so proud when we have a good thought about loving people, but never act on those thoughts? I hear people all the time saying, “Oh it would be cool if we did this or that for this person!” Their excitement is full and their passion is set, but the connection is never made.

Part of what I see is a lack of vision from God. Let me unpack that thought. If someone doesn’t ever feel like God has “approved” of them or that he “gives them the ability” then they won’t act. Their insecurity and complacency will always get the best of them. What is the problem with this besides immaturity? I mean let’s call it what it is. The bible clearly talks about the fact that Christ indwells us. So if Christ indwells us then we have all we need to love. You see, we can’t love God without Him giving us the love to give Him. That is because nothing in our flesh desires to love God, so the only way we can actually reciprocate His love is because we have His love. John says, “We love God because He FIRST loved us.” So if God put us into Christ and Christ in us then we have a source for every need that ever comes up. If God tells us to love Him and love people then He is going to provide us with the needs that we have. 

Secondly, regarding the issue of insecurity. The problem with insecurity is that it puts the solution on us. That isn’t biblical at all. Our strength isn’t what loves people, it’s God’s strength. God uses us not because we are special, but because He is special in us. The love that comes from us, again, isn’t ours. The love that we need to demonstrate to others comes from above. If this is true than our validation isn’t found in our abilities, but rather God’s. If we can dwell in His ability to fulfill what He wants then we don’t look to ourselves, and therefor bypass the need to be insecure because our security comes from Him. 

I hope all that makes sense. All I know is this. Christ loves us, so we need to love others. AND it isn’t the “thought that counts” when it comes to people. They don’t know your thoughts, so they need to see your thoughts put to action. So go out today and love someone extravagantly because that is how you are loved!

Dustin

 

a bit crazy…

It is day 13 and I have been lousy at documenting this, but there really hasn’t been anything for me to write about. It is typically the same every day- hunger, tiredness, seclusion etc. Although my hunger has been diminishing over the past few days I am just choosing to ignore it. At this point I really don’t care if I am hungry I just want God to be my hunger. I can’t seem to get Jesus’ words out of my head, “Man cannot live on bread alone, but by every word of God.” Luke 4:4  I have a peace when I realize that this isn’t about me wanting to eat, but a deciding factor to live on each of God’s words.

So, then I began a quest today. What is every word of God? Sure it’s referring to scripture, but it’s also referring to the spoken word of God into us. I can only tell you that every day is different and every minute can change. BUT one thing remains the same the love. The one word that will never change in the heart of God that we must learn to live off of is love. His love beats for us as steady and consistent as our hearts. Every pump of our heart flows life into our mortal bodies, but every pump of God’s heart flows an eternal love that we can have now. This eternal love never fails. This love casts out fear, confusion, anxiety and impatience. So the word that I am feeding on today is love. I will eat up the love of God by acknowledging his goodness, faithfulness, and compassion today. God is love.

God, let your love pour down and shine down on us this day and every other. May we learn how to receive your goodness and joy at this present moment.
Amen

Dustin

 

A Lesson In Love

So we have neighbors who like to sit at their pool till all hours of the night drinking some beers and having a good time just about every night. Nothing wrong with that I suppose, except that they also like to have music during their revelries… Again, nothing wrong with that because they don’t keep the volume up too high. However, their sub appears to have been placed in the perfect spot to reverberate right into my house, just to the point where you can only hear it if you’re in the bedroom and its quiet. ie. You’re trying to sleep.

I kindly asked them if they would just turn the bass down on Saturday night, and the woman didn’t like that idea very much, insisting that since they were the 5th house on the block, they felt as if they owned the neighborhood and didn’t much care for some young guy coming over to their house at 9pm asking them to turn down the music. (They actually said that, even the part about owning the neighborhood.) They begrudgingly agreed that they would turn down the bass some, but I went back to bed to the thumping beats of some 70’s rock anthem.

As I’m lying here tonight contemplating whether calling the cops would do any good since its not after midnight and I don’t think they legally have to turn it down yet, I have this nagging suspicion that my inconsiderate neighbors are actually an answer to prayer. I’ve asked the Lord to teach me how to love more, and this sounds like a way He would choose to show me how. I feel like there is an answer to this conundrum in love, that will minister to my neighbors and hopefully give me an opportunity to introduce them to Jesus.

I don’t know what it is yet, but I’m going to find out!

Chris

 

Glory in the midst of a headache…

Alright today was a tough one. Whitney and I had to fork out $450 for her car to get fixed so that we could get it registered. Stupid DMV. heh.   We ended up walking home twice in the middle of the day, and I got a headache. This headache was right behind my left eyeball! heh those are the worst because you end up poking your eye to relieve some of the pressure. Needless to say I had my finger in my eye for about 10 min. hah

Well we got home, ran some errands in my car and went back home. When we got home I took Bonsai, our Jack Russell, for a walk to pick up the car a mile away. So I grabbed the leash, a cigar, and headed out the door. I lit that thing up and AHHHHH it was incredible. I love smoking cigars even though I only do it once every 5 months or so. As we walked I just prayed and loved on God, and before I knew it the headache was gone. I never thought that thing was going to go away, but praise God it did. 

Then I got home and took a bath…Yes I took a bath. My body was aching because I had been moving stuff earlier in the day. As I laid there in complete silence I just imagined God. I thought about His love, His face, and His beauty. I felt such an incredible peace that is always comforting when things around my life seem to be falling apart. I praise God for always forgiving me, loving me, and constantly being faithful to me. 

I love you Father,

Dustin

 

One day down…

Well today was quite a revelation…and not in a good way. Today felt like day three of the fast. Normally I become irritable and impatient on day three not day one. Today was absolutely frustrating. hah Everything was getting on my nerves, but I was patient at the same time. 

The morning started off where I was protected from an accident that could have been really bad. Two cars t-boned and I could have been right in it. Thank God for His angels that were watching over me. Maybe I will get to see them during this fast? hmmm 

After my semi-close call with an accident I went to work. It was quite a frustrating day for numerous reasons, but I’ll just pass on by with those events. During lunch I went to the DMV to get my drivers license renewed because it expired yesterday, my birthday.

Side Note****If there was one thing that I hate in the world it is the DMV. I have such a passionate hatred that it rivals that of Satan. HAH I REALLY REALLY REALLY HATE THE DMV! 

Ok, back to the story. As I was standing in line behind 10 people who were annoying not because of anything they had done, but because I just thought they were annoying. The guy in front of me turned around and looked at me not once, not twice or even three times, but five times! I wanted to just punch him in the face. Ok, by this point your thinking, “Jeez this guy needs Jesus and this fast!” Your absolutely right. I’m not normally so easily irritated, but today sucked. The revelation that I mentioned in the beginning was that of my true self. 

The problem with what happened besides the obvious is that those things that I was experiencing were in me already. The people (AND THE DMV!! CURSE YOU DMV!!!) simply brought it out of me. I was sad because that stuff was in me, but at the same time I’m thankful that it came out. I don’t want to be like that. For everyone who knows me probably would say that I’m not like that at all, but I guess this is just part of God’s refining process. I seriously don’t experience things like that, but I think I’m just being bombarded with attacks by the enemy. He has tried to discourage me all day telling me that I’m not worthy to do this fast, or to seek God in the ways that I am. I am going to hold his face up to the DMV and destroy them both! Ok, not really, but I will get the enemy back. 

Trust me that I have already asked for forgiveness for my flesh rising up like it did, but I know that God let it happen to show me who I am apart from Him. Needless to say I don’t like who I am apart from Him. I love who I am in Christ and I love who I am becoming. I am seeing how incredibly loved I am, and how incredible God’s love for people is.

Sorry for my honesty, but that’s what this is about! heh I’m going to love people….and I guess the DMV. GRRRR

 

Dustin